She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize