I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize