You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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