this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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