I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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