make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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