i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
