Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Randomize
