very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
