What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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