I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Welp...herpes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
