I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
