i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
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We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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