how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize