So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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