come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize