I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
