I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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