Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Why can't burritos get me drunk
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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