I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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