ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize