dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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