I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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