I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
