I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
