As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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