She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
