I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You took a bar mat shot.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.