eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
