Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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