do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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