Jerry, you need to find god
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize