Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize