Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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