I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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