I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
