FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
