these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
