She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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