in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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