wrigley field is MILF paradise
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
