I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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