"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
