Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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