i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
