singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
