He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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