If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
