I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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