i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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