Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
