If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
