We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
