i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
