We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
