I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just tell him i said nine months
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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