I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
