Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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